Friday, September 7, 2007

A Balancing Act

Today I received a call from Jackson's teacher who said that he was feeling pretty sad and that he wanted to talk to me. She told me that he's been like this for a few days but that he seemed worse today. Jackson got on the phone and spoke with a quivering voice about how he was worried about Kate. I was totally taken aback. He hadn't expressed any of these concerns to Jason or I in the last few rough days but he obviously had been internally conflicted. I told him that Kate was doing ok, explained again why we were keeping her home but that must not have soothed him enough because he asked me to put her on the phone! (That made me smile, actually). Although he seemed better by the time we got off the phone, I now am pondering how I can better help him adjust when Kate gets sick. We have very open and frank discussions in our house and I thought that we put it all out on the table.
In my well meaning way, I have scheduled activities for Jackson for the last 3 days. On Wednesday, he went to play at Noah's house after school and then they went to soccer together. Thursday he had another play date with Sammy and had a great time. Last night, Sammy's dad brought him to cubscouts and said that everything went well. I didn't want Jackson to feel stuck at home with us, because Kate was sick, but we usually go to all of our activities together as a family. Maybe going to these activities without us made him feel like something must be very wrong. I don't know. Still wading through these unknown waters as I come upon them. Any ideas?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mom,
There is no crystal ball when it comes to knowing what to do for Jackson. It's uncharted territory for you all. In my opinion you handled it beautifully. You've created an atmosphere where he feels safe enough to ask for what he needs and you responded in kind. That's what it's all about. He just needed reaasurance. Your maternal instinct are so strong and from the heart, Carolyn. Go with them. It sounds like you are blessed Jackson has a perceptive and compassionate teacher.
It takes a village, my friend.

Barb

Kari said...

Sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job with your balancing act. You seem to be incredibly sensitive to the needs of all 3 kiddos which is not an easy task ... especially given your circumstances right now. Keep following your instincts and learn as you go :)

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how tough it is to balance your time with each child through this journey with Kate. I'm so amazed with your strength and sensitivity...not an easy combo to manage. Hang tough and trust your instincts. You are a great mother!

Hugs,
Anne

Jason & Denise Hadley said...

Hansens,

We just heard about Kate's leukemia and wanted to let you know our prayers and thoughts are with your family. Kate is so beautiful! We haven't seen her, or any of you for that matter, since we moved over a year ago. I still picture her as the sweet 2 year old in nursery.

Anyway, good luck with the marathon and all that your family is going through.

Your friends,
The Hadleys

Sean & Jen said...

dido to all the comments--you are one heck of a mom. you set a high standard for us all :). you are doing a fantastic job with all three--jackson is just the sensitive type, like caleb. he's going to feel things more and his emotions will get to him. caleb tends to keep things in too, and sometimes i'll find him hidden away crying--it's a hard thing to know what to do. just keep talking with him and making him a part of the whole experience. has he ever been to one of kate's treatments with you? maybe this is a crazy idea, but caleb felt so much more a part of what was going on when carter was in the hospital and he held his hand for iv's and blood draws. i know this experience pales in comparison to kate's treatments and maybe you've already tried something of the like, but just an idea. . .

Jen Johnson said...

Just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you a lot this past week. I have worn the pink bracelet for long enough now, that it has just become part of my body. For some reason, a lot of people have asked me about it this past week, all strangers. It is amazing the compassion that people have, it has reinforced my faith in people.
I do love that the bracelet is pink. Now, if I ever shop for a new shirt, I purposefully look for something to match pink. Maddie loves it!
Our prayers are with you-

Jen

Ebony said...

Keep up the good work.